10 Times I Never Admitted I Love You
by Tasogare-Taichou
Summary: Just a collection of letter-format stories done between Shinji and Hiyori, each one referencing an opportunity they could have taken to share their feelings and yet didn't.


**Title:** Pretender  
**Rating:** PG  
**Fandom:** Bleach  
**Character:** Hirako Shinji to Sarugaki Hiyori  
**Theme:** Sweet  
**Author's Notes:** So the premise of these letters is the idea that these are letters written but never sent, aka the title I gave the entire series "10 Times I Never Said I Love You". Half will be from Shinji, and half from Hiyori, and while they all will reference the same continuum (based out of my 24hour_themes series) they won't necessarily go in any sort of order.

Hiyori -

I know you probably won't get this, especially seeing as we'll likely be joining the fight pretty soon and even if I _did_ plan to actually give it to you, there wouldn't be a chance. That being the case, I _don't_ plan to give it to you. You wouldn't appreciate it, anyway. You'd probably just kick me in the head again, the way you always do, and call me a dickface.

Ya know that hurts, right? The kicking, I mean. The dickface part... well, I'm used to that. Kinda like Baldy. It'd be a bit weird if you stopped callin' me that.

I guess I'm writin' this in case I don't come back from this fight. And yeah, I know you'd call me a moron, that it's stupid to even think about that sorta stuff, but one of us has to, and it sure as hell won't be you. You're too stubborn, anyway. Ya know, it'll piss you off, but you're a lot more like Kurosaki than you think you are. You're both stubborn as hell and too pig-headed to keep yourselves out of trouble.

But that's what I'm for, I guess. Ever since we were little, ya know? Keeping you out of trouble, watchin' out for you. It's what I'm good at, whether ya want it or not.

Anyway, I'm writin' this because... I guess it's ta tell you all that stuff I never got a chance ta say. You know, just in case I don't come back. At least that way ya can't kick me when you read it.

You shouldn't always be so closed up, Hiyori. Not just with me, but with everyone. They're our friends, they're _your_ friends, and they've been yer friends since a hell of a long time ago, so you might as well stop always keepin' everything bottled up inside. I'm the only one you ever open up to, and even then you don't do it much. Let 'em get closer, Hiyori. Cuz I might not always be around.

Stop bein' so mean, too. It doesn't suit you, despite what you might think. Sure, it'd be weird for you to stop being the same old violent monkey you've always been, but you don't have to hide everything under the anger. You can let someone see you smile every once in a while, ya know. And don't make some crack about how you can't smile. I know you can. I've seen it.

But you always try so damned hard to hide it. Like that time we found the kitten along the street when we first came to Karakura. You know, the one that was hurt. Been hit by a car or something, I guess. Anyway, you're the one who saw it, and you tried so damned hard to keep me from noticing how you were about to cry when you picked it up and held it and tried to heal it's broken leg. You remember, don't you? That was the summer you spent all your time -- when you weren't hiding 'em from me -- finding all those damn books on take care of cats so you could take care of it, find some way to make it heal faster when the kidou didn't seem to work. You were so damned determined to fix it that you didn't even wanna listen when Hachi said _none_ of our kidou was gonna work right until we figured out the Hollows.

It was really sweet, ya know? Not just the way you took care of it, but the way you kept it up even after you tried to kill that animal doctor when he said he didn't know if the leg would heal or not. And I know you'd slug me for it, but it's not like it's that hard for you to be sweet, ya know. If you'd just quit always bein' so damned determined not to let anyone else see it.

Like the way you didn't want anyone ta see you get all teary-eyed when it finally _did_ heal and it turned out to belong to some kid. And you acted all tough like you hadn't wanted it to begin with, just so no one could see that you didn't wanna give it back.

It's one of the things I like about you, you know. That side you try so damned hard ta hide from everyone, and pretend it's not there. But we know it's there, Hiyori.

And I know we're gonna go out and fight and we may not all come back, but ya know... you should be that sweet girl more often.

I'm not gonna give this to ya. I'm just gonna put it where I know you'll find it, if I don't come back. And maybe by then, you'll decide to stop bein' so thick-headed and quit pretendin' you're not sweet.

-Shinji


End file.
